How to Pray to God – and Why It Matters
Let me tell you something I say to almost every woman I work with at some point in our time together.
Prayer is not a spiritual to-do list. It is not a religious routine you check off before bed. It is a conversation, a real, living, back-and-forth conversation, with the God who created you, knows you, and has been waiting for you to turn toward Him.
And there is a world of difference between going through the motions of prayer and actually talking to the living God of Scripture.
Most people pray. But not everyone is praying to the right God.
That distinction matters more than most of us realize.
Who Are You Actually Talking To?
This is where I always want to start. Because if we get this wrong, everything else falls flat.
The God of the Bible is not distant. He is not sitting somewhere up in the sky, vaguely aware that you exist. He is personal. He is relational. He is paying close attention, right now, to what is happening in your life.
Jeremiah 33:3 says, “Call to me and I will answer you, and will tell you great and hidden things that you have not known.”
That is not the language of an indifferent God. That is a God who is leaning in. That is a God who is saying, Talk to me. I have things to show you that you haven’t even seen yet.
When you pray to the God of Scripture, you are approaching the same God who spoke to Abraham. The same God who parted the Red Sea. The same God who found David in his darkest moment and called him a man after His own heart. The same God who raised Jesus from the dead.
He does not change. Psalm 145:18 tells us He is near to everyone who calls on Him in truth.
Not the people who have the right words. Not the people who have been Christians the longest. Everyone who calls on Him in truth.
That one truth changes everything about how you approach prayer.
What Prayer Actually Looks Like
Jesus never left us to figure this out on our own. That is one of the things I love most about Him.
In Matthew 6, He sat down with His disciples and said, here, let me show you how to do this. And the very first thing out of His mouth was “Our Father in heaven, hallowed be Your name.”
He started with who God is.
Not with the request to solve a problem or with what He needed. He started with the character of God.
That is not an accident. That is the template.
And it goes right back to what I call the first pillar: Who is God? You cannot pray well to a God you do not know. You cannot trust a God you have not studied. You cannot lean on someone whose character is a mystery to you.
So here is how I break it down in practical terms because I am action-oriented and I think God is, too.
Start with who you are talking to.
Before you say another word, remind yourself. God is holy. He is just, merciful, loving, faithful, and He is present. Take thirty seconds and just acknowledge who He is before you launch into everything else.
Be honest.
Please hear me on this one. God is not impressed by fancy language. He is not moved by spiritual performance. Psalm 51:6 says He desires truth in the inward parts. The real you. Not the cleaned-up, polished version you think He wants to hear.
He already knows what is in there. What He wants is for you to bring it.
Read His Word back to Him.
If you do not know what to pray — open your Bible. The Psalms alone are a masterclass in honest prayer. David cried out in fear. In confusion. In repentance. In absolute desperation. He even got angry. And every single bit of it counted. God called him beloved.
Then be still and listen.
Prayer is not a monologue. It is a conversation. And conversations require quiet. Sit long enough for the Holy Spirit to remind you of something, convict you of something, comfort you in something, or simply let you know He is there.
That is prayer. Not a formula. A relationship.
Popcorn Prayers And Why I Love Them
I tell this to my clients all the time because I think it takes an enormous amount of pressure off.
You do not have to get on your knees, fold your hands, and deliver a perfectly formed five-minute prayer every time you talk to God.
- Sometimes prayer is just “Lord, I am exhausted, and I don’t know what to do next.”
- Othertimes it is just saying His name out loud when you walk into a hard situation.
- And sometimes it is “God, did you see that? Because that hurt.”
Those are what I call popcorn prayers. Short. Real. Immediate. Just popping up throughout your day.
They count. God already knows what is in your heart before you form a single word. What He is waiting for — and I keep coming back to this word because I believe it is one of the most important words in the Christian life — is your acknowledgment.
Just turn toward Him. That is the whole thing.
Stop what you are doing and acknowledge you are here, and I need you.
Watch what happens when that becomes a habit.
When You Have No Words
I have to address this because I know some of you reading this are in a season where the words will not come.
The weight is too heavy. The pain is too deep. You sit down to pray, and nothing comes out. Maybe you have been sitting in silence for so long that you have started to feel like you are doing it wrong.
You are not doing it wrong.
Romans 8:26 says the Spirit Himself intercedes for us with groanings too deep for words.
God does not require complete sentences. He receives tears. He receives silence. He receives the prayer that is nothing more than you showing up, walking into the room, sitting down, and having absolutely nothing left to give.
Showing up is the prayer.
What matters most in those seasons is not what you say. It is the direction you turn. Turn toward Him instead of away from Him. That is enough. He will do the rest.
Why This Changes Everything
Here is what I see happen when women stop going through the motions of prayer and start actually talking to God.
Their self-reliance starts to crack. In a good way.
Because without real prayer, without actual conversation with God, we drift. Our hearts slide quietly toward trusting our own understanding. We carry what was never ours to carry. We try to figure out what only God can know. And then we wonder why we feel so alone, even when our lives look fine on the outside.
Philippians 4:6-7 says to bring everything to God in prayer, and in doing so, His peace will guard our hearts and minds.
Not our peace. His peace.
The kind of peace that makes absolutely no sense given your circumstances. The kind Paul describes as surpassing understanding because it does. It is not logical or something you manufacture. It is something He gives.
That is what consistent, honest, real prayer does. It keeps drawing you back to the One who actually holds all of this. It shapes your desires because it reminds you who is in charge. And it steadily grows a trust in God that cannot be built any other way.
Hebrews 4:16 says, “Let us then with confidence draw near to the throne of grace, that we may receive mercy and find grace to help in time of need.”
With confidence. Not with shame. Not with a long enough list of reasons you deserve to be heard.
With confidence because of Jesus.
You are invited. Right now. Exactly as you are.
Start Today
Not when you have better words.
Not when you have more faith.
Not when your life is less complicated, or your thoughts are less messy.
Today. With an honest, willing heart. Turned toward the God who has been waiting for you to acknowledge He is there.
Talk to Him. Listen for Him. Give Him five minutes today and see what He does with it.
I have seen it happen too many times to think it is a coincidence. The woman who starts talking to God, really talking, not performing, is not the same woman six months later.
That is not self-help. That is transformation.
And it starts with just opening your mouth and saying, “Lord, I’m here.”
Experience the difference when you let God counsel you through life’s most challenging moments. Contact Jane Perkins, a Licensed Clinical Professional Counselor who integrates Biblical Faith and Counseling to address your mental health needs.
Schedule a Free 20-Minute Consultation
