How to Actually Get Closer to God
Let me start with something I hear constantly from the women I work with.
“Jane, I believe in God. I go to church. I try to pray. But He just feels so far away.”
And every time I hear that, I want to ask the same question back. What are you actually doing to close that gap?
Because here is what I know after nearly 30 years of sitting with people in their deepest seasons of struggle. God does not move away from us. We drift from Him slowly, through busyness, distraction, unresolved pain, and the thousand little things that crowd out the one thing that actually matters.
James 4:8 gives us one of the most straightforward promises in all of Scripture. “Draw near to God, and He will draw near to you.” That is not a suggestion. That is a guarantee with a condition attached to it. We do the drawing near. He does the rest.
So let us talk about what drawing near actually looks like in real life, not in theory.
Start With Honest Prayer, Not Polished Prayer
Prayer is not a performance. It is not a formula you recite to check a spiritual box. Prayer is a conversation with your Father, and like any real conversation, it works best when you stop pretending everything is fine.
Jesus modeled this throughout His ministry. He withdrew to quiet places to pray (Luke 5:16), not to perform for an audience. To talk to His Father.
Here is what I tell my clients. Start with five minutes of honest prayer every morning. Not five minutes of eloquent language. Five minutes of real. Share your worries. Confess what you have been carrying alone. Thank Him for what He has already done, even when you cannot feel it. Over time, those five minutes stop feeling like a duty and start feeling like oxygen.
Open the Word and Let God Speak
Scripture is how God speaks most clearly. Psalm 119:105 says, “Your word is a lamp to my feet and a light to my path.” If you want closeness with God, you have to spend time in what He has already said to you.
Start small. One Psalm or one chapter from the Gospels each day. Write down one verse and carry it with you through the day. Let it interrupt your thinking when the spiral starts. Let it answer the lies before they settle in.
This is not about becoming a Bible scholar. This is about becoming familiar with the voice of your shepherd. Jesus said His sheep know His voice (John 10:27). You cannot recognize a voice you have never listened to.
Obedience Opens Doors That Nothing Else Can
Closeness to God grows through what we do, not just what we know. Jesus sai
d it plainly in John 14:23. “Anyone who loves me will obey my teaching. My Father will love them, and we will come to them and make our home with them.”
Read that again. Obedience brings God’s presence into your home. Into your daily life. Into your actual circumstances.
Pick one area where you know God is calling you to step up. Maybe it is forgiveness toward someone who does not deserve it. Maybe it is generosity when your budget feels tight. Maybe it is purity in an area you have kept quiet about. Take one step of faith this week in that direction. Obedience does not earn God’s love, but it does open the door to a deeper experience of it.
Worship Is Not Just Sunday Morning
Romans 12:1 urges us to offer our entire lives as living sacrifices. That means worship extends far beyond a church service. Your work can glorify Him. Your parenting can glorify Him. The way you drive in traffic, handle a difficult conversation, or respond when no one is watching can all become an act of worship.
Turn ordinary moments into intentional ones. Thank Him out loud while you make coffee. Play worship music while you fold laundry. Acknowledge His presence in the mundane parts of your day, not just the spiritual ones. This trains your brain and your spirit to stay aware of Him all day long.
God Did Not Design You to Walk With Him Alone
Here is something I say in almost every group session I lead. Isolation is the enemy’s favorite tool. When we pull away from community, we lose the accountability, the encouragement, and the living picture of God’s love that other believers provide.
Hebrews 10:24 to 25 tells us to encourage one another and keep meeting together. That is not
optional. Join a Bible study, a small group, or a Christian counseling session where you can speak honestly about your journey and hear from others walking the same road. Community keeps us tethered when the feelings tell us to withdraw.
The Trials Are Not Evidence That God Left
This one matters deeply to me. Some of the closest seasons I have ever had with God came out of the hardest circumstances of my life. Suffering pushes us off the shallow end and into the deep water of real faith.
Second Corinthians 12:9 records God telling Paul, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Weakness is not a disqualifier. Weakness is an invitation.
Try shifting the question you ask in hard times. Instead of “Why is this happening to me, God?” ask “What are you showing me about your character through this?” That one change in posture builds more trust and intimacy than ten years of easy seasons ever could.
This Does Not Happen Overnight
Closeness to God grows the same way any real relationship grows. Through time, consistency, honesty, and intentional pursuit. Jeremiah 29:13 promises, “You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart.” Not when you perform perfectly. Not when you have your theology completely sorted out. When you seek with your whole heart.
Pray, even when it feels dry. Open the Word, even for five minutes. Obey, even when it costs you something. Stay in community, even when isolation feels easier. Worship in the everyday moments, not just the Sunday ones.
As you do those things, you will discover that God was never as far as He felt. He was always right there, waiting for you to turn toward Him.
Ready to Take the First Step?
My name is Jane Perkins. I own Are You Ready Counseling, and I offer online Christ-centered biblical counsel to people who carry emotional pain, mental health challenges, spiritual confusion, or loneliness.
You are not alone. And you do not have to stay stuck.
A free 20-minute consultation awaits you with no obligation attached. Bring your questions. Bring the part of your story you have not said out loud yet. Come exactly as you are.
Visit: www.AreYouReadyCounseling.com
Email: jane@areyoureadycounseling.com
Book your free consultation: calendly.com/areyoureadycounseling
Open the Word. Trust His promises. And walk forward in His truth.
